Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
