You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
