At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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