I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
