oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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