My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
