I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
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