I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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