hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
