Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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