There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
