Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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