Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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