At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize