my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
