Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids

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(804): View more from Virginia

id be glad to

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(604): View more from British Columbia

mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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(410): View more from Maryland

was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?

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(407): View more from Florida

Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around

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(+61): View more from Australia

If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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(719): View more from Colorado

My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.

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