I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
In America we eat man semen.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize