I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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