Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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