I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You have to summon your inner elephant
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
