Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
