Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Drunk is a universal language darling
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
