I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
