There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
