Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
