was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
