There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
