Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
