forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
