Kareoke will never be a sober sport
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
