You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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