I faked an abortion last night.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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