We named our party play list daddy issues
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
