At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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