dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
