So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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