she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
