life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize