he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
