Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I supernannyed him into submission
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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