Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
