the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
