The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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