Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
