and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
