Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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