Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
