I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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