did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
