she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
