Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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