biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
