I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
