Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
