There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
