if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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