I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
