epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
