Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
