i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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