A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
