How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
