About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
