I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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