What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
