I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
