did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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