it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize