Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
