I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
