Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
