Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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