I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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