Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
