"it" just moved
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize