jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
