i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
