please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
