he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
