Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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